Everyone talks about the baby. No one asks how you'll be as a couple.

The first year is hard — everyone says so, no one prepares for it. The expectations you quietly assume now become friction after the birth. Sort them out while you can still talk about them calmly.

Sound familiar?

What this phase really feels like:

“We’ll figure it out somehow.” — The sentence that replaces most conversations.

Every gift is for the baby. None is for us as a couple.

I know how he wants to be as a father. But not what he expects of me as a mother.

What helps right now

Three things you can change this week

Talk about the nights before they come

Who gets up, who sleeps, how do you take turns? A rough plan won’t prevent the exhaustion — but it will prevent the silent resentment at three in the morning.

Sort out money and roles concretely

Who cuts back, who stays, for how long? Parental leave, income, who’s “in charge” — these aren’t details, they set the course for years to come.

Agree how you'll pull each other back

Decide now how you’ll notice you’re losing each other as a couple — and what you’ll do then. In the storm, you don’t decide these things anymore.

And long-term

A ritual that starts before the baby.

DeepDialogue exists for exactly these conversations: one question every evening — including the ones you don’t ask yourselves amid all the anticipation. Each of you answers privately, then you reveal together.

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The “Before Baby” deck: 28 questions for expectant parents

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Private answers — you hear what your partner really expects

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5 minutes in the evening, instead of “we should talk sometime”